Discombobulated

As I am done with the vagaries and think of calling it a day, here comes a strange desire in me at one thirty in the night (or should you say, morning) to blog! Quite a puzzling period.

Two days back I typed out a whole post, yet I chose not to publish it. :O Now that I've got absolutely nothing in my mind but utter disregard for the fate of the reader whose mind may be subjected to the utmost level of discomfort and confusion if he/she chooses to read this and not skip.


Now, getting to the point (which I seldom do and don't expect me to get to one in this post too), why am I typing this?

This is a time ( and it has been so for more than an year now, so nothing new about it) when conflicting theories add to the vagueness in mind and spice up wholesome misery for the thinker.

Excellence, Family, Maverick, Sacrifice, Values

The above words ( if you have noticed, are in alphabetical order and hence don't assume anything) have been central in my life for about 3 years now. And here a cliched phrase pokes its nose: 'You can't have everything!' Never have I justified all the five together. And perhaps there lies a flaw.

Here I recall a line once said by Sachin Tendulkar in an interview, "You can't miss things you've never done!"
I'd read this more than 4 years back in an issue of Wisden Asia Cricket( A cricket magazine, for the uninitiated) and it still lingers in my mind where I wage a battle against its plausibility almost everyday.

Nowadays, there is a harmonic motion of thoughts that I fail to put in words.
All I know now is that the coming 18 months will be momentous should I choose to stress on its importance.
And irrespective of how I fare, what is important is that I get all those 5 words together and hence,gun down a debilitating notion that creeps into the mind amidst the wandering thoughts- SELF DOUBT.


All right! Now that it's becoming increasingly difficult for you to make any sense out of this post, I'll arrive at two points which shall be comprehensible to a rational mind.

* Done with sessionals. For a change, I did well :)
* Watched Slum Dog millionaire the same day sessionals ended. Found it not as good as it was hyped to be. The same as for Dark Knight as I said in an earlier post. Riveting nevertheless!

Rest, I choose not to ramble through a messy account of what I have been doing.


And here comes the most awaited part :)

Thank you for sticking till the end. That's perseverance for you. I know this post is in complete contradiction to the previous one where you might have been led to believe that I've changed for the better. But however sensible or senseless you may have found it to be, this post has served the purpose for me. :)

See you Amigo!

PS-Don't worry if you don't know the meaning of the title. Neither did I until I hit upon it while searching for the weirdest synonym of 'Puzzled'. :D

Fifty Three

1. I am a very honest guy and I like honest people. I hate it when people fake it. I'm true at heart and expect others to be true to me too. And I'm not lying!!

2. I am six feet tall( or is it five eleven?)

3. The busiest day of my week is Sunday!

4. I don't have tea. I am a coffee freak. And MILO too ;-)

5. So it makes sense that engineering is not my cup of tea. Because if it is tea it won't be mine:-D

6. I'm a typical Sagittarian which I've mentioned in About Me too. But if you meet me after going through a book that entails a description of Sagittarians, you are not at fault if you believe that it was the first chapter of my Biography.

7. The toughest period of my life till now just went by. And it lasted four and half years; 55 months to be precise. Well it was tough for everyone in my family and it was a learning period too. I don't fancy my life to get any tougher than this (i.e. if it can get any tougher!) Now I am in a rebuilding phase.

8. I would like to believe that I am very intelligent (well an IQ of 140+ is supposed to be intelligent... right?) But I don’t want to be over confident at the same time which unfortunately I can't seem to avoid.

9. I got selected in IIT-JEE 2007 after studying for four months (not in sequence!)

10. And I was in my first year of engineering at that time. Secured 74 percent marks in my first year. Another testimony to my intelligence.

11. I study the least in my class and manage to get in the top ranks.

12. Well I told you I am boastful. Didn't I? But I did tell you that I can't seem to set aside my over confidence.

13. But I couldn't solve the Rubik's cube! *sigh*

14. I can talk the hind legs off a donkey! And I mean it. I can talk nonsense on and on and this has actually saved me a couple of times.

15. Actually I also meant to say that I am a glib communicator.

16. I am a good debater and orator.(which makes sense)

17. My room's in a complete mess. I mean you perhaps can't get a dirtier room with things misplaced and books and clothes strewn here and there. Absolute clutter!!

18. I miss my school friends a lot.

19. I love my family and miss my mom.

20. I spend close to seven hours everyday on the internet.(Gosh!)

21. My dad just had a look at my blog:-D

22. I like meeting new people.

23. I like Shahrukh Khan Movies. Also the ones starring Aamir, Hrithik, Boman Irani, Naseeruddin Shah, Ranveer Shourey( specially when he gets with Vinay Pathak), Rajat Kapoor, Saif Ali Khan and everyone who makes my day.

24. Okay I don't want to sound like I'm lying. I like the movies of Priety Zinta, Rani Mukherji, Priyanka Chopra, Madhuri Dixit, Juhi Chawala and I love watching Katrina Kaif.

25. I love Gayatri Joshi. God why did she get married?*angry*

26. My life has got a lot better ever since I got a Broadband connection. Trust me, it's worth it.

27. If you are still reading this, I love you my friend!

28. I aspire to make it big in life. Really big. And my friends believe that I will do it *all smiles*

29. I a huuuggeee procrastinator. I dream BIGGGG but hardly act!

30. Which does explain some of my failures*sob*

31. I am a very responsible child and I took care of my mom really well. Love you ma!

32. I wouldn't like anyone to go through what I have gone till now in life. Or for that matter what my parents have gone through in life. Specially ma.

33. I love driving my Access -125.

34. I just got a call from a dear online friend, Sneha. And I didn't talk to her properly (Hmph!) Sorry. See I got u a line in the post ;-)

35. Didn't I say? I love all my friends!!

36. Now that this is turning boring for you, let me tell you that this ordeal will end soon. Just that a few more things came to my mind.

37. I seem to have taken a liking to managing and motivating people. Today only I preached thrre friends about PREPARING FOR CAT. :-D

38. This does mean that I am somewhat intending to bell the CAT. I believe that it is my cup of tea. :-)

39. Just that I don’t act what I preach. No no, I'm not a bloody hypocrite! Just that I'm a very lazy guy. Remember the procrastination point?

40. My room has its walls full of motivational thoughts which I don't even bother to take a look at.

41. I would love to be studious! *chuckles* No; seriously! I know you don't believe that but you have to coz its D truth!!

42. But having said all that, I work really hard once I commit myself to anything! And I mean it. I still remember how hard we worked to make our tech fest a success. 16-17 hours everyday! (gosh!)

43. I just saw the Good Knight refill and I dare say that I'm yet to find an effective mosquito destroyer! Though I've tried using Odomos, I don't fancy smearing it all over before sleeping!*sneer*

44. I believe that a super power exists but I'm not religious. I vist temples because my mother wanted me to and sometime coz I wanted to for my ma.

46. I hail from a very orthodox Brahmin family and I am okay with that :-) In fact that sounds cool to me!

47. Didn't I say? God! How could I miss that? I believe in arranged marriages. Yes, pyaar vyaar bekaar hai. I mean it's fine if you love after marriage. I do come from the old school of thought in this regard. Details are given in my orkut profile. :-)

48. If the above point resulted in a heart break for you. Lolzz. I'm saying as if I'm a very eligible bachelor which I believe I am :-P Well I am just 19 for that matter. Coming back to the point, if it resulted in a heart break for you, I care for you but can't help it. I love my ma and can't disobey her. (At least now) We still are great friends :-)

49.. I dare say I look good in formals.

50. Okay! That is a lie*chuckle*

51. I am a complete foodie. I just love eating! Anything Vegetarian and once upon a time anything made under the guidanceof mom.

52. I love traveling as I do meeting new people. So that does make me a fit in the Marketing world. Does it?

53. If I don't stop now, you will leave it without completing and that will break my heart. So, I'm stopping here. And it is a Prime number too though I don't fancy it. I would have preferred a 71 or 89 for that matter. Anyway, Thanks a lot for showing so much patience. But kudos to me too coz I still can't believe I wrote so much! :-)

Thought

You sometimes don't even know what you are capable of. Your life seems to be all bliss when suddenly it comes out with a series of challenges and that is when your true character reflects.

Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds of cheerfulness

Give it your best efforts, take pains to reduce others pains; be a sight of joy to others. And you will have peace, a sense of completeness, a feeling of being good and above all you will start respecting yourself a lot more.

Vernacular miseries

Today was the first time I felt great about the department lecture theatre.

There was an ambience and our mathematics teacher was teaching in a way never seen before (that perhaps was because I was attending his lecture for the first time!!! ;-)) and I was able to follow a lecture in a long-long time!

Anyway, let me get to the point. I had an (I don’t know what I should call it) today. A good friend of mine, Rakesh (name changed), took it to me. He started with asking me whether or not, I knew the meaning of misanthrone. I replied in the negative. I realized that misanthrope was the word he was looking for when he explained its meaning! I corrected him (had a torrid time doing so!) and asked if he was trying to follow the great vocabulary builder by Norman Lewis. He said,” yes!”. I felt genuinely happy as this was the first time I was seeing a person coming from a vernacular background making an honest effort to improve his language.

But little did I realize what he’ll come up in the next few minutes. He asked me the meaning of fifteen odd words. I started to realize what this guy was trying to do. He stopped at a word I didn’t know the meaning of and I later found out that it didn’t even exist. Then we almost fought over the legitimacy of the following sentences

Had I played cricket?

Had I played cricket, we would have won the match.

I tried to explain him for a good five minutes as my heart winced in pain at what he doing. I realized that it was the sheer frustration that was erupting from his side over the difference in the language skills. I avoided saying that I knew it better. At that point of time, my friend came to my rescue only to be caught himself! He agreed with Rakesh and got the matter settled.

Sometimes I wonder whether you should be genuinely interested in helping your lesser talented friends.

What am I doing with my life?

What am I doing with myself, my life?
Am I heading for the destination? Am I following the path correctly?

Taking risks at every point, taking on any situation unprepared!
‘Spontaneity is a good characteristic’ people say. But is this it?
No, I sometimes feel, because it borders insanity!

Many a time even people who understand me, misunderstand me!
Not realizing their worth in my eyes;
What some people mean to me in my life!

Let no one believe-I’ve never lied except when it is for the good
I’m nothing without my support- my family, my friends.

I may not be the best.
But I know I’m good- good at heart
Loving peace and enjoying fun

TRUST and FREEDOM I value and demand in any relationship
And place those special people on the pedestal

I always try and do justice to my conscience, my intuition.
Do what I feel is right!

I always….

But still amidst all this, there’s a lacuna where I ask myself….

What am I doing with myself, my life?